I had a rough day on Monday. I know that it isn’t uncommon for women to struggle with self-esteem issues from time to time – and I definitely am not immune to this. For the most part I am pretty positive – I know that I don’t have a perfect body by any means, but I am proud of what my body allows me to do. However on Monday [and really Tuesday if we’re being honest] I had one of those mornings where I pulled out outfit after outfit trying to find something – anything – to wear that looked good. Nothing did. I ended up in jeans and a shirt that I hated. I was in a terrible mood. I didn’t really put any makeup on, I just ran a straightener quickly over my hair and I left for work feeling supremely underwhelmed with myself.
This didn’t stop when I got to work. I was frustrated, stressed out and wanted nothing more than to go home, curl up in my bed and sleep away the rest of the day. I just wanted to hide from the world.
Work stretched on for an eternity [isn’t it funny how some days fly by and others seem impossibly long?] and when I finally got home I did exactly what I had been wanting to do all day – I pulled myself into a tight ball on my couch and I took a nap. After I had a glass of wine. At 3:45 in the afternoon. When I woke up the absolute last thing I wanted to do was go work out. No matter how many times I told myself that it would make me feel better, I just couldn’t get motivated.
I texted my friend Britt lamenting my lack of desire to work out, I complained to Sean and I moped for a solid 20 minutes. During my texting with Britt, I somehow managed to find enough motivation to actually change into workout clothes and finally had to cut my conversation with Sean short because I knew if I sat and talked any longer I wouldn’t make it out the door.
unrelated picture of my favorite person!
On my way to the gym, I gave myself a good, stern talking to. I reminded myself that I work out because I want to – no one is forcing me to do this. Out of all the things that find their way on to my to-do list, working out is one that I put on there out of desire, not necessity. Everything else is a task to be completed – a chore. But working out is a privilege, something I’m lucky to be able to do and something I do because I truly enjoy it. The hour, give or take, that I spend working out each day is a chance for me to escape from all the other stressors in my life. It’s a chance to forget about anything that’s nagging at me. It’s pretty much the only me time that I get during each day – especially weekdays – minus the 15 minutes I spend enjoying a cup of coffee before I truly begin my days.
a picture of coffee! because every post needs pictures!
And you know what? I ended up having a fantastic workout. All of the energy in the room was electric – I soaked it all up. When I left the gym, my favorite [not sorry about this little piece of information one bit] Taylor Swift song was on and I rolled down the windows and sung my heart out. I walked into the house humming [Sean may have been a little weirded out by that one – I don’t think he fully believed that I was that happy just because of a workout].
instant mood enhancer! not sure I’ve ever had endorphins from weights before, but monday I sure did!
It’s so easy to fall into the mindset that working out is something that you have to get done – to view it as just one more thing to cross off of a list. But that’s not really the case at all – no one pays me to work out, no one is forcing me to do it. Sometimes you [ok, I] need a little reminder that there are plenty of people out there that can’t work out. My body allows me to do some truly amazing things. And for that, I’m thankful.